Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
