you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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