I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
