listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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