Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I deserve this hangover.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
