My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
