Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My life is pants optional.
I think i got beer on your cat.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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