UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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