You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Someone signed my nipple.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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