this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
