p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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