I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
