I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
