I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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