I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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