All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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