About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
