If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
