the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
MIDGETS
????
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
