D3 body, D1 cock
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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