I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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