i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
