I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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