i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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