Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
