: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
