guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
