YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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