oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize