This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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