I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
