yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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