grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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