So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
