Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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