The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
