Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
