____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
