we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize