New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Randomize
