sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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