Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
