I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
