dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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