that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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