how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
