so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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