her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
