i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
