Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
