i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Who died my cat blue again?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
