but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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