In the future we'll all be gay
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
