woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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