you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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