It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
