i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
