Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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