well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
