I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
foreskin is a definite game changer
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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