I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
