i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
