You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
