I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
