it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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